i wanted to start slow and pick up speed along the way, but now im forced to step on the accelerator.

i just hope the car wont break down midway, or collide with the oncoming traffic, or crash into a tree on the sidewalk.

God please keep me alive, at least for now.

a few days ago, i got a shock when i stepped out of my home.

i had been too caught up with fiction and fantasy that the world out there didnt seem real at all. neither did i.

it was like trying to find a green bean in the grass.

and when i found it, the bean had already sprouted.

what do you think singapores greatest resource is? it is the government, not the people.

we are often so quick to criticise others, and even quicker to defend ourselves.

no wonder MINDEF introduced the concept of total defence.

after two weeks of grinding through my readings, my mind is hungry for television and literature. it needs fiction, not non-fiction.

i need to plan for a weightloss programme after fourth may, not only for me, but my brain as well. it is getting too heavy with all the excess information that i no longer need.

i seem to have forgotten that my excruciating exams are not over YET. but for now, instead of running to catch up, i can finally take a stroll in the park.

after one busy week, i finally had a decent msn chat with my bestie! :D

me: ohhs!i just realised today that i really like mammoths!!!
bean: I LOVE MAMMOTHS
bean: HAHAH SO DAMN CUTE
me: like giraffes,lions,tigers,leopards..ETC!
bean: i have a mammoth !
bean: have u seen it?
me: HAHAHHAHHAHS!YEAHHHHS!
bean: a ty mammoth
bean: beanie baby
bean: let's see
me: ohhs, WAIT..
bean: i like gorillas, manatees, cows, ducks, pigs
bean: hippos?
me: mammoth is the kind of animal with fur and give birth right?
me: hahahhs
me: then whats the ancient animal that looks like an elephant?
bean: mammoth
bean: its a mammoth
bean: kind of animal with fur?
me: ahhahahhs!ohnooos..
me: animals who have fur and give birth..
bean: MAMMAL
bean: HAHAHA
bean: MAMMAL
bean: OMG

the best part is, i dont have to be anything else but myself. (:

adia, i do believe ive failed you.
adia, i know ive let you down.

after three papers, i still havent learnt my lesson of allocating my two hours properly.

i underestimated the cost of that, so i paid the heavy price today.

just when i thought everything went wrong today -

i felt stabbed the first thing in the morning, i fared poorly for an important term assignment, i didnt manage to finish my exam paper, i quarrelled with my brother over a stupid cockroach.

- i took a step back and look at the little comforts i got in return.

well, i bumped into an ex-classmate whom ive been wanting to catch up with; i spent the day studying and laughing over silly things with a friend; i had my favourite fried fish hor fun for lunch; i managed to rush home in time to catch the nine-oclock serial (yes, i hate to admit, but i watch it fervently every weekday!); i received a happy email; i was rather touched by a blog entry on one of my good friend's blog.

there can be so many reasons to smile about even on a bad day. you just have to find them.

apparently, some people are under the impression that my name is synonymous with good results, like 'michael jackson' with paedophile or something.

after exams, there is time enough to swim to the surface of the water to take a deep breath before diving to the bottom again.