if i plot my life out on paper, it would just be a series of random zig-zags, with many breaks in the line along the way.

and the graph says that ive reached the end of a fluctuation, and its time for a rest.

i was moved to tears by His grace, His love and His presence in my life.

thank You for not forsaking me.

it was like seeing white polka dots scatter over a brown background.

in other words, disgusting.

can you shorten my trip,

i just want to go home to You.

things that would definitely brighten up my day/night:

• watching a serial with a good-looking cast and a light-hearted plot
• seeing my name on a friend's blog entry entitled 'people whom i dont mind sharing a hot fudge chocolate sundae with'
• a hot fudge chocolate sundae
• a polite hairdresser and a satisfying haircut
• dropping a thick stack of books and having a cute passerby to help me pick them up.
• finding a $100-note stuck to the sole of my shoe
• digging out my old clothes and realising that i can still fit inside my primary school uniform
• beating my least favourite, geeky and stuck-up classmate, in a test by one mark
• having a stranger tap on my shoulder, and say 'oops, sorry i thought you were (insert a celebrity's name) '

well, i just thought that nobody likes to read morbid and melancholic posts.

the dartboard is missing,

and so i am throwing darts in all directions.

im tired of constantly searching for things to find joy in.

im going back to my shell and maybe,

ill be happy in my sadness.

(and my self-indulgence. :/ )

death is frightful,

not because we cease to live, but because our spirit, our names, and our legencies cease to linger - a few generations down the road, when all the people that youve ever known reunite with you in their graves, there would be no one left to remember you, to think of you and to validate your existence.

every trace of you would evaporate and be carried away by the gentle breeze, and it would seem as if you have never landed at all.

we are less than three months away from the next year,

and yet, there are still so many more blank pages on my journal.

what happened to the days that ive lost to time and my own pursuits,

what would happen to all the memories that ive had,

and what would become of me when i am gone -

would i be forgotten, would i be erased from your memory, or would i just fade away, just like my impression of you and the entire spectrum of emotions that i have ever felt.

your skin,
oh yeah your skin and bones
turn into something beautiful
d'you know you know i love you so
you know i love you so

-- yellow | tanya chua

i woke up one morning to find out that the clouds have descended.

they have come, in huge numbers, to invade our land, and now they are everywhere - on the streets, outside our offices, in our backyards, occupying on every inch of space that we have. their strategy is to first blur our vision by fogging us out, then suffocate us with the stale murky air, and eventually trapping all of us in our rooms, rendering us helpless and defenceless.

gloom looms, we are all doomed. :/