the post-exams period had been peaceful and rejuvenating.

having spent the past two weeks sleeping, watching old tv dramas and stuffing myself silly, i think i've rested enough. the upcoming month will be exhilarating but exhausting, and i wonder if my friend was right about me never giving myself a break.

what's so desirable about a break? it extracts me from the system and engulfs me like a black hole. it throws me into an vast abyss that runs infinitely as i lose track of time, people and my self. i wake up, wash up, watch the same shows and wonder about the same questions all over again. and while im stuck in this cycle, snapping out of the trance can such a herculean task. bit by bit, i need to start looking at my calendar, my address book and my phone. and as i open my mouth, i feel that i'm speaking for the first time. words spill out in splatters, and start filling up the vacuity. the noise inside my head softens, the silence around me is broken.

the hardest part is getting out of laziness. i've become too accustomed to doing nothing but ruminate. that is why committing myself to six weeks of lessons during the three month break will do me more good than bad, and prevent my mind from getting too rusty and dusty.

cheers to school holidays. (:

come 25th may, it will be the third time in four years that i'm leaving the country on this particular date.

strange coincidence? :X

i want to steal the polar bear that fann wong is wearing. ):

my inability to say no has cost me six hundred bucks.

can you feel my pain and regret?

the curtain falls, the emptiness calls,

i need to wake up, a little more.

been doing a bit of soul-searching recently - part of me has flown away for a while.

as usual, i try to find the answers in dramas, in songs, in books, in people, but they always shrug me off or stare point-blank at me. they beat around the bush, make me dance in a circle before throwing me back into reality, the fallen paradise.

i get this funny feeling once in a while, almost on a regular basis, and usually when i meet a stumbling block. but i always snap out of it somehow, even without working it through. i can't work it through. i dont even know what the question is. i have no leads or clue, and i sniff out useless details all the time without making a real connection. i feel like i am living in somebody else's skin.

and for this, i am thankful that i will be going away soon for three weeks. and i pray that i can do better than to write a few random, broken lines for my last exam tomorrow.

no prize for guessing whether its a female with a very low voice, or a male with a very high voice. its the latter as you can obviously tell from the picture, though i thought it was a female at first and was actually searching high and low for the name of the song.

i like it partly because it has a nostalgic feel that makes me choke. you know, the kind that reminds you of some place, some time in your life, or somebody.

the traffic was crawling, inch by inch.

the commuters stood stiff as a board, their shoulders pressed against each other in discomfort. some of them were oblivious to the surroundings, as they clung tightly to the sheets of paper in their hands and stared intently at the pages of words, muttering unintelligibly under their breath. a few of them were starting to worry, as they kept lifting their hands to glance at their watch; while some others were showing signs of exasperation, as they typed furiously on the keypad of their phones.

outside the bus, the other drivers were getting impatient too. a man in a suit had loosened his tie and unbuttoned his collar; a lady was sitting beside him, with her arms crossed and lips sealed together. he opened his mouth to speak, she shot him a look of contempt, he reacted with dismay. at the right lane, a young chap was resting his arm on the window ledge, with his left hand tapping incessantly on the wheel, and his right hand holding a cigarette between his fingers. as he exhaled, the trail of smoke swirled and dispersed, scattering the cloud of tension into the calm morning air. when he finished his last puff, he tossed the stub away, closed the window and turned just in time to catch me staring.

i hurriedly looked away in awkwardness. i needed to find another distraction to get a hold of myself.

the time was 8.45 am - it was fifteen minutes to the start of my examination.

the three things im going to do after exams: (yes, i've become incredibly self-indulgent recently, and i'm going to pretend like you're interested in what i do/like/eat. hahh! )

• go drama binge-ing on youtube & crunchyroll and watch all my favourite shows again! :D
• pick up a bit of conversational bahasa melayu for three weeks in malaysia (this is taking for granted that i AM going away for special semester)
  
• start brainstorming for my thesis! (you guessed it, geek is my middle name. 8-) )
  

twelve days of exams - i'm going to count down now. (: