gymnopedie #1

i hate saturday afternoons.

all the more, i hate to be stuck at home on saturday afternoons doing work that i shouldn't have tucked away during the week. just when i thought things couldn't get any worse, it started to drizzle.

as the afternoon crawled by, my senses sharpened. the musty smell of the books, the stoic face of the afternoon sky, the loud tapping of my fingers on the keypad that has been stained with dirt and sweat, the buzzing of the fan, the whistling of the breeze, the fresh scent of the rain, the mildly bitter taste of chamomile on my taste buds, and the graceful melody of gymnopedia #1 playing against the splattering of the rain - they started to grow on me. they were my only companions in my mental cage.

and the afternoon. the afternoon was so still that it began to sap away the life in me.

i wished my smile was your favourite kind of smile

i am still recuperating from the devastating effect of my three very dull weeks previously. i have been very lazy and i am still trying to recover from a mental block. so i thought maybe i shall speak through a song.

i first heard about kate nash when i was sitting in a friend's car; and ever since, her songs have been stuck in my head. then coincidentally while i was prowling through youtube yesterday, i came across this person who made really lovely videos.

and there it was, kate nash's nicest things:

comfort food series

i was trying to do anything but work, so i came up with a list of food (& drinks) that would always make me day:

1. starbucks' green tea frappecino
2. max brenner's walnut brownie or venezula milk/dark chocolate
   
3. ichiban boshi's teriyaki salmon
4. ikea's meatballs with extra sauce
   
5. shi lin's xxl crispy chicken
   
6. island creamery's pineapple tart ice cream (or any of their sorbet)
   
7. chippy's cheese sausage with mash potato
8. new york new york's caesar salad
9. kim gary's red bean ice
10. crystal jade hongkong cafe's fish fillet baked rice
11. coffee club's muddy mud pie with earl gray tea
12. ben & jerry's strawberry cheesecake
    
13. (and not to forget..) st nick's orange bowl bee hoon soup :D

i wish i had pictures to show you how good some of these are! anyhows, back to work now. ):

i just called to say i love you

there's so much more i want to say to you, so let this just be the beginning of more good times and sharing to come. (:

this has to be my best birthday ever

the day has barely started but there are just some people that i'm dying to thank.

i know that i am not young anymore. my priorities in life have changed, and my circle of close friends have been shrinking while my base of acquaintances have been expanding. presents have become much less appealing, while little gestures of kindness and love speak much louder to me these days.

thank you my honours class for the super big surprise on stage. i have seen this happen on stage before, but i never imagine that it would ever happen to me.

thank you my three crazy girls - eleen, cheryl and sam, for mr giraffe, and for putting all my ugliest pictures together for the funniest photoframe i've ever seen.

thank you lays, limjays, changnings, kel and twl for spending the last few moments of my 22nd year with me.

thank you zhaowei for being my dearest brother (and the very lovely porter bag).

thank you cheryl (again) for the piano piece, and the "two crazy girls singing" piece. i'm going to bed tearing because of you (awww...)

i shall end off with this very moving song. because a loved one has shared it with me and touched my heart, i hope that you too would be able to share with somebody you love and touch their heart.

shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned lovings

i have been touched by 40 angels.

one of them was a child who wants to be with her pa for forever, while another one of them was ah beng wanna-be whose mohawk and sheepish smile made him a favourite. there was a gangster whose haunting past continue to impact the path he chooses in life, and not to forget his very guai sister who was always at home, waiting for her abang's return. many of them were noisy aunties with lipstick so sensationally red and eye shadow of an egyptian blue, and one of them was a too-good-to-be-true boyfriend whose other personas include background physical instructor with obscenely short shorts and a Leonardo DiCarpio wanna-be (super ai yan). and there was a fine young lady who had no knack for lying or geography, and her father whose love for her helped him to overcome his disability. of cos, there were his three other friends who were just a little different, and five very sexy dancers who got all the male audiences captivated. finally, there was an abusive husband whose alter ego was also a hunky but effeminate gangster (to the disbelief of many people), an abused wife who should have taken herself away from all these, and a ballerina daughter who was scarred for life because of the rippling effects of the abuse.

and very importantly, there were the two gorgeous ladies who hid behind the curtains, behind the scenes, but they were the reason behind all our successful runs. also, there were another two who were hiding upstairs, looking at us through the window, and were responsible for all the coordination of the two plays. they too, worked very hard for our success. and of cos, there were also two others who were upstairs, busy playing with the switches, busy switching between lights and sounds. finally, i must not leave out the five very charming ladies in dresses and suits who carried themselves with much poise and elegance (they were the most xinji!), the guy who were went to the collection of books upstairs to print readings (judge!), the five women in black who could move so swiftly and with such precision in the dark, and the two young ladies who helped to fill everyone's stomach and quench our thirst. altogether, they were all just as dazzling as the cast.

all of them are not just a little special, they are very, very special to me. because at some point in time during the past four months, they have entered my heart, filled it with colors and won themselves a place inside. at some point, they have touched my life, and made a lot of difference to me. and i will remember them, by their names, by their faces, by the times we've spent together, by the warm quiet glow that they brought into my life. thank God, thank you that it happened.

can i buy some time from you?

tomorrow, i need to wake up at 730am to do my interview transcript, then reach nlb by 10am for 6 hours of rehearsal (during the lunch hour, i need to do coding for my three interviews so far), then rush down to sembawang road for tuition, then reach jurong point by hopefully 8pm for a friend's birthday celebration. i hope my day will end by 12 midnight so that i have time to prepare for my consultation with my supervisor at 9am on friday morning.

and right now, my eyes are half-shut and i am almost dead to the world.

when no news is good news

i once read that when people are sick and tired of being sick and tired, they will change. i'm really tired of being tired. i'm tired of answering the same questions, of facing the same problems, of feeling like a shell.

if you don't hear from me the next couple of days, i am probably busy catching up with all the work that i have neglected over the past three weeks, or i could be...dead.

(okay, don't fret. i was kidding about the latter.)

besides, i have too many people to account to. i better step out of the door, and not the window.

we were only freshmen

and how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor,
we fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say.