how would you feel if you stepped on a nail twice on the same spot.
all defeat is painful, especially when you have put in your best. to be honest, i felt like tearing this year more than the last. not because i have contributed more, but because it was like watching a replay of a tragedy, which i know was beyond my ability to stop. thing went wrong along the way, but we dont know where we tripped, or how we can improve to be better (other than to become worse and uncreative). we want to fly, but God has refused us wings, twice.
i had a dream, but i missed my chance, and i wont get it back again. now some other people missed their chance too. eff the judges. its déjà vu and we grudgingly welcome you to our alumnus.
i typed this at 3am to commemorate my 300th post, which is an unhappy one. i do not feel hopeless, just helpless, and inextricably helpless.
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