if tomorrow never comes

well, a coach crashed on the malaysian highway this morning.

and having to receive this news less than twelve hours before i set off is definitely going to set my heart on a quiet panic. demostrations, gun rampages, accidents - what is next? somehow i can almost see my life flashing before me.

i had a difficult childhood, but that did not deter me from growing up like anyone else. i did not become deviant. or deliquent. but i did learn to lie to get away with things sometimes, and to please others sometimes. i made friends, some of whom i could connect instantly while others took a while to warm up to. i lost some important people, but i moved on because other people came along and filled up the spaces. i was mediocre in my academic performance, but i would like to believe that i shone in some other ways. even though things did not always turn out to my expectations, i had always worked very hard for what i believed in. and even though i have regrets for things i should have done, i'd like to think that i had always lived to the fullest. and even though i don't always say it, i do love my family and friends very much, before they love and accept me despite my shortcomings.

it seems like God always have plans for us; His intent may only be apparent in retrospect. i pray that his plan for three of us now is to have fun, and come home safely. (: