25 things you didn't know about me (blog edition)

discontented with the one that i wrote on facebook, i decided to write a new one...here. (:

well, for those who are clueless about the 25-things thing, it resembles one of those chain mails with an endless list of questions that people used to write and tag their friends in, so that the latter have to answer the questions and pass it on. only this time, there was only one question, which was to write twenty-five things that people didn't know about you.

i hadn't put much thought into it when i wrote my first one, so i shall attempt to consolidate a more interesting list of things now. the truth is, writing this might be even more difficult than writing a testimonial for yourself. but nonetheless you might just enjoy writing one too (: because it helps you to rediscover yourself.

1. if i can have one supernatural power, i would want to have the ability to heal people and steal their pain.
   
2. the three things that i fear losing most are my sanity, my limbs and my eyesight.
3. as much as i like social work, it is only one of my three ambitions. the other two are website designing and advertising, but i decided they were too unrealistic for me.
4. i genuinely hope i die young. in fact, i hope i die at the peak of my life.
5. i think i almost suffocated in a children ball pool when i was young.
   
6. one of the reasons why i would never want to have kids is because i do not believe in unconditional love.
   
7. contrary to J who tried to kill her brother twice, my brother actually saved my life once (or so i think). i have no recollections but from what i gathered, apparently he saw me foaming at the mouth during a nap (when i was a toddler), then he alerted my mum who called the ambulance.
   
8. i really hate wearing accessories, even though i do wear them once in a blue moon. in fact, i suspect i might not even want to wear my wedding ring next time (if i do get married, that is)
9. whenever i walk on a pavement with checked tiles, i have a tendency to adjust my strides according to the tiles, and stepping over two tiles at the same time makes me cringe. of cos, this only happens when i'm not in a hurry and i'm alone, so i am still pretty rational.
10. i long to go back to church actually, but i am terrified of the commitment.
11. i always feel a sense of irrevocable fear that people around me will suddenly die or get into an accident. i know where this fear originated from, but i can't help it.
12. i really love looking at stuff toys. if i were filthy rich, i would buy a whole shop of stuff toys, including the shop itself, so that i can go there anytime and swoon at the toys.
13. i loved st nicks to death, until i went to hwachong. and i loved hwachong to death, until i came to social work honours. so i conclude that my life is still going uphill.
14. i have confessed to a guy before (hahaha!) and i swear that i would never ever do it again.
15. i get a kick out of proving people wrong.
16. i can never fall asleep lying on my back. it's either on the sides, or face-down for me.
17. when i was down, i used to just board the first bus that comes to the bus stop and see where it takes me to. but there was once in jc when i boarded the bus at 11-ish at night, and i ended up in some secluded place near little india, with a low-batt phone and no money. it wasn't long before fear got the better of me, and thank God i managed to find my way back home eventually. it is not surprising that i don't do that anymore.
    
18. i am usually very optimistic when it comes to exams. i always think that whatever i didn't study won't come out.
19. i suspect i have mild bpd, but i will never know cos i will never see a doctor about it.
    
20. after watching the exocist in j2, i decided that i would never go to africa in my life.
    
21. when i make somebody a present, that's cos i want the person to remember me. when i ask somebody to make me a present, that's cos i want to remember the person forever.
22. okay wait, i don't believe in forevers. so i'd say for a long time at least.
    
23. i was born on the 23rd. that's the only reason why my favourite number is 23. and guess what? i'm turning 23 this year.
24. the first time i cried in front of a crowd was during my jc council election, when we had a Q&A session with our own faculty. YF, my campaign partner said something very nice about me that made me cry. and i cried partly because i was very touched, and partly because i was really ashamed of the fact that all i cared for was myself.
25. even if i could turn back time, i wouldn't. because i wouldn't have known many of my good friends back then, and i dread the idea of not having them in my life.