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i believe everyone compartmentalise their life to some extent.
some people put on their best behaviour in front their superiors or their friends because they want to get into people's good books; some tuck their less desirable traits away from public scrutiny so that they can appear to be a person of good character; some would only display the worst part of them to loved ones, because they feel that that is where they would be safe to show their ugliest or most vulnerable side; while others choose to save their most dazzling side for their loved ones, because they feel that the latter bring out the best in them.
whatever it is, everyone is like a diamond. we all have different sides to us - that is how we shine and maintain our uniqueness.
but everyone also has a part of them that is insecure, a part of them that is lonely; a part of them that is unsatisfied, a part of them that feels unloved; a part of them that is confused, a part of them that is afraid; a part of them that is uncertain about the future, a part of them that cannot make sense of their past; a part of them that feels inadequate, a part of them that feels inferior; a part of them that regrets, a part of them that regresses; a part of them that suppresses, and a part of them that represses.
but when all these different parts converge at once with my usual cheerful self, that is when i find it so hard, so frightening to deal with.
i cannot bring myself to pen any further.
