the vicious cycle of insomnia

the night is always the hardest to get by.

i've exhausted my options. i've tried doing my readings, but i can't concentrate for long, and that makes me even more agitated and restless. i've tried playing freecell or bejeweled, but after a while my eyes get painfully dry. i've tried reading the time traveller's wife but the plot is hardly compelling. in fact, it amplifies to me, my state of stasis, because some of the characters seem to be as stuck as i am. i've tried taking anti-histamines, but the drowsiness only takes effect after one or two hours.

insomnia breeds rumination, rumination breeds distress, and distress breeds more insomnia. and there i would be in the darkness, thinking about all the things i shouldn't think about, and mourning over things i should have long forgotten.