going back on my words

forgive me if updates have been scarce.

my laptop refuses to cooperate. its fan wouldn'http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=14103796&postID=7636907158409523189t start up, so sometimes i may not be able to switch it on for days. i can't blog during work, but thankfully i can still check my email accounts.

anyway, now that i managed to get my laptop working, i thought i'd squeeze out a post because i won't know if these would be the final words that i'd be typing on this computer. don't expect a lengthy post because it's 2am and way past my bedtime. so here we go...

in the recent year, i have been taking back many of the words that i'd said before.

for example, when i was twenty years old, i used to say that i have no intention of getting hitch. now that i'm (almost) 24, watching all the weddings (in real-life and on television) actually makes my heart waver. now i secretly hope to get married by 26, so that i can be a young bride and go for an adventurous honeymoon.

some years back, i wrote that time is like an escalator. you could be standing still in one place, yet time drags you along and thrusts you forward. yesterday, i realised i was wrong about this. maybe time is not the escalator. maybe i am the escalator. i am the conveyor belt, the one that goes round and round. i'm always under the false impression that i'm moving forward, but in reality, i am merely moving in circles. i would travel with many passengers to their destination, but after each short trip, i must roll back and return to the same spot. the friends come and go, people get off and move on, but i must always remain in the cycle. i don't know why, but i just cannot get past a certain line. so eventually, the motion becomes so mechanical, and i find myself running on auto-pilot.

anything that's mechanical breaks down after a while (like my laptop fan). if it cannot be fixed, then i can only count down to its expiry date.