Falling through

These days, I have been living in my mind much more than I should.

I write something, and realised that it is pointless; I speak about something, and realised that it is meaningless. Conversations end up in a knot and silence tightens it. If I were to illustrate this in a picture, I imagine a string of words seeping through the gaps between the fingers, falling through the air in a slow painful motion, and scattering on the floor as arbitrary letters, the meaning lost forever.

When the inability to express myself without my illocution being misunderstood begin to weigh like mud bogging down my feet, and the act of expression becomes a tiresome chore, I can only look to the Lord to search my heart, feel what it feels and mend what needs to be mended.