in retrospect, the song was a prophecy, a premonition and a bad joke,

its humour dry and difficult to stomach.

原来最远的地方，是永远。

i once read from somewhere that there are two occasions in life where you would probably spot the highest attendance in any group gathering.

the first occasion is when somebody in the group gets married - so you will probably spot many familiar faces, whom you might not have seen in the longest time, at the wedding party.

and the second occasion is at a funeral.

death is like an asteroid that hits the surface of the earth, its impact sweeping, far-reaching, and irreversible.

flower or fragrance,
rose is the epitome of elegance. (:
--
while im at it:



simple,



neat,



and innovative -

colored swirls and strips is the way to go!

pride is costly to maintain.

but i'd rather pay the price.

"my existence in the context of your potentiality...your non-existence in the context of the necessary and fundamental liquidation of my existence"

- Kaddish For An Unborn Child, Imre Kertesz

once upon a time, i wished that adults didnt exist.

now that im an adult, i kind of wish i dont exist.

just like people,
sad songs can disguise themselves behind a happy tune too.

one cup of english breakfast tea with two slices of lemon and no sugar is the cure to hypersomnia.

bonjour madame, can i have one litre of brain juice, an ounce of freshly packed ideas and a pat on the shoulder please?

--
the hardest thing to keep, is always a person's heart.

i feel like a piece of wood, wasting away in the dumps and counting down to the end of my days.

what hope is there in life?

if God can easily take away what He has given us; if the sky could be bright and blue for a moment, yet dull and bleak for the next; if the flowers along a footpath could be effortlessly crushed by our negligence; if life is as frail and fragile as the bones of an infant; if illness and death can come knocking on the doors of our loved ones anytime, anywhere; if good things can happen to bad people and bad things to good people; if we do not always have the luxury of saying goodbye all the time; if we could slip away one day, reluctant and unprepared.

i pray it would be a gentle and painless embrace.

my spirit is low enough to make me kiss the ground.

there is nothing uglier than imperfection.

the lamentable part about the passing of our youth, is not the loss of good complexion, childhood friends, or freedom to do whatever we please.

it is the loss of innocence, and the pervasiveness of cynicism in the root of my soul.

upset. )):

it used to be very spacious outside. now the inner space is vast as the sky.

maybe im beginning to enjoy the mediocrity - their distance, comforting like a pair of warm woolen socks that wraps your feet on a cold morning.

after fourteen hours of squeezing my feet into a pair of slim covered heels, i have two blisters half the size of my little toe growing on my little toe, and four other small ones elsewhere.

there must be a better way to test my threshold of pain. :/

there has been a daniel wu movie maranthon at my place every night, for the past three nights.

time for divergence now. (pun intended :)

if youre up, the water tastes sweet, your body feels light as a feather, every song is uplifting, every problem becomes trivial, every look is a smile, every obstacle becomes a challenge, every task seems like a piece of cake, every moment is a pleasure, and everything around you becomes bright and colorful.

five days of hell is over, the weekend is here, and im going up on a rocket. :D

i thought of some people whom i had walked the same paths with during my teenage years, and felt a sense of gratitude for their company and the irreplaceable memories, as well as a tinge of sadness because i know that the days are behind us now, and our paths would only diverge from here.

if you hold on too tightly, they'll break away someday. if you let go, you'll lose sight of them eventually.

so from now onwards, if i want the seeds in my pocket to grow, i better start sowing them. ):

you sit in an empty jar with a tightened lid.

out of touch, but not out of sight.

six days of cold war, morning workouts, early nights, intense reading, amazing amount of self-discipline, absence of mood fluctuation, spending impulses, and a gradual loss of interest in many affairs.

the past few weeks have been evolutionary.

no, these self-imposed changes are not punishments. they seem like the logical thing to do - to get away and to start all over again.

with a mind-boggling test tomorrow morning, its a wonder how i am playing freecell, typing notes for my tuitee, organising my files, memorising the lyrics of a catchy song, writing an entry, daydreaming and doing everything but the right one.

after all, my psychology notes told me that cramming and massed practice are ineffective, and incubation is good. it can get me off my functional fixedness, leading to insights and better problem solving.

i am looking forward to a miracle tomorrow. (: