gone in a blink

life is so cruel.

i believe some things can only be forgotten once. you can spend years trying to forget it, to bury it, to get it out of your mind; but the moment you are reminded of it, you would never, ever be able to erase it again.

it would be etched in stone, like a carving on a tombstone.

the discomfort of silence

everyone has definitely encountered awkward moments of silence in their daily lives. it could had happened when you were alone with your boss during a meeting, when you were sharing a table with your colleagues during lunch, or when you were trying to engage in some small talk after bumping into an acquaintance on the train.

maybe you were eager to discuss about something until your interlocutor's lackadaisical reply cut you off; maybe you were unable to connect with the other party on the same frequency; or maybe everyone just ran out of topics to talk about. and when that happened, the silence pervaded the whole room like a repulsive smell that made you cringe. you could hear the clock tick, the chair creak, and the bucket drip.

unfortunately, situations like these are not uncommon, and they make the ambiance stale and awkward. so like a knee-jerk reaction to overcome that moment of quietness, you might fiddle with your watch, check your phone, pretend to be in deep thought, burst into laughter, or comment on the weather. but at the same time, your mind might be frantically searching for a new topic to break the deafening silence.

but why do we do that? what makes silence so unsettling that we try our best to avoid it? is it because we don't know what to expect next? or is it due to the lack of control and certainty over the situation? or is it because we view it as a reflection of our lack of social competency?

i have found my source of discomfort, so maybe you should find yours too. although you might not be able to overcome your fear of silence, but at least your awareness of it will help you disguise your discomfort.

Grace will lead us home

in peace.

how i'm supposed to breathe with no air

this video is sooo good that i just have to share it -



thanks to miss square-jaw (hah, vengeance for the ugly photos!), i couldn't stop humming the song in my head during my afternoon lecture! :X

thank God i have a lot of time

inspired by a long halt at the bus stop this afternoon, i was determined to dedicate a post to SBS on the intolerability of waiting on a hot and humid day, but a dark horse galloped at full throttle to reach the top of my agenda instead -

"i told you so" has to be one of my most hated lines because every time i say it (whether aloud or in my mind), it makes me go ballistic.

i don't know if the source of my anger stems from my lack of persistence in pushing my point across previously, or my lack of foresight in choosing to trust somebody else's judgment over my own. but either way, it makes my fuse blow.

i'm just hoping that next time, you would be able to prove me wrong, and make it convincing.

zhou xun's performance was so breath-taking that the ending crushed my heart; and this song delivered the final gust of melancholy -



our happiness will always built on somebody else's pain. the poor sheep, the innocent child, the fox who didn't know how to love.

have you ever wished you were more intelligent?

sometimes writing a term assignment is like playing a pen-and-paper game.

• you head off into a maze, and find yourself bumping into dead-ends with no fresh ideas or new insights
• you put your first and second draft together, and you can't spot the difference
  
• you try to connect your essay in one continuous line, but they end up disjointed
  
• your mind is constantly working on a crossword puzzle because you have to keep finding words to substitute lengthy redundant phrases
• the outline of your essay resembles a coloring page before it is colored - you have to find the right hues to fill up the spaces without overdoing it
• your points are so arbitrary that it's like playing join-the-dots without the numbers

intellect is scarce these days, i need some brain food (i.e. read more books).

i loveee the crazy things we do! (even the failed birthday surprise because cheryl is just too sharp!) three deadlines over the next four days, and life would be good again. (:

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.

- Erich Fromm

dearest friend,

i admire your fortitude in times of adversity, your courage in facing the things that we all fear, and your love and devotion to your family.