God has truly blessed me with good and faithful friends.
my bestie who would drop me a note even though she's having a really bad day/week. my favourite girls who would speak in their crazy self-taught accents, and accompany me to hong bao hor. my honours classmates who always crack me up with their antics and brighten up my day with unexpectedly sweet gestures. and a confidante of mine who showed me how important i am to her!
there are so many reasons why i need to pull myself up, hence i must strive harder to walk out of the tunnel completely.
28.1.09
today, i put a stop to all this misery
by drawing a smiley face and wearing it.
this way, it makes it easier for people around me, and easier for myself.
this way, it makes it easier for people around me, and easier for myself.
27.1.09
26.1.09
this place is privatising in three months' time or sooner
i don't know what triggered it,
but i was reminded of a particular scene in A.I., when David clung on to Martin and mumbled "keep me safe, keep me safe, keep me safe, keep me safe" incessantly under his breath.
i need to be more forgetful.
but i was reminded of a particular scene in A.I., when David clung on to Martin and mumbled "keep me safe, keep me safe, keep me safe, keep me safe" incessantly under his breath.
i need to be more forgetful.
24.1.09
i've got nothing left to say, just take me away
i wish somebody could fire me from the job of mothering my mother and playing the middleman.
some jobs used to be manageable in the past, but now that i am flooded every minute with my own worries and problems, the last thing i want is to be bogged down by a thick patch of mud.
chinese new year hasn't even started, and i'm feeling so tired already.
some jobs used to be manageable in the past, but now that i am flooded every minute with my own worries and problems, the last thing i want is to be bogged down by a thick patch of mud.
chinese new year hasn't even started, and i'm feeling so tired already.
22.1.09
how i evolved into a geek
disclaimer: the post below is the result of a self-centred, narcissistic introspection, and an attempt to procrastinate my work. read only if you're bored, read only if you have the slightest interest in my insipid life.
for the past few weeks (or has it been months already?), my name has become synonymous with words like "nerd" and "geek". so yesterday, i tried to challenge the title, and defend myself.
"i'm not a nerd, i just like to read", i explained.
and then N said, "i know, you like to read readings right?" a cunning use of alliteration to trap me into admitting it.
but then i replied, "no, i like to read novels too".
and E and N scrutinised me and concluded that i am still a geek.
but before i rest the case, i was wondering how and when did i develop a liking to read, and even more so for the past few months.
i ran a quick check in my mind, and i recalled picking up my brother's textbooks for leisure reading when i was in kindergarten (he's two years my senior). the pets coursebook and hao gong ming always fascinated me when i was young. so okay, that's evidence that the geekiness can be attributed to "nature".
then i fast-forwarded to the recent december holidays that had just passed, and i remembered having to choose between writing the literature review for my thesis, and reading freakonomics. i chose the latter of cos, simply because it was the lesser of the evil. so i was actually incentivised by my circumstances to read. and that's one tick for "nurture".
one against one, that's a draw. so i turned to a cost-benefit analysis on my favourite pasttimes.
i love watching youtube, because it provides pure entertainment that's accessible anytime, any day. but even though it has low explicit cost, the opportunity costs are still enormously high. the dramas on youtube take up an extravagant chunk of my time (especially when i'm hopelessly hooked to a show), and the biggest cost is the sanction that comes whenever a show got me glued to the small black screen. it's the sanction of guilt. guilt of procrastination. guilt of work forgone.
then there's shopping and dining. but shopping makes me broke, eating makes me fat. not much incentive i'd say.
so this is how i started liking to read more. the benefits of reading are expansive - it stimulates your brain, empowers you with knowledge, provides entertainment and even escapism, depending on the genre. this is not counting the sense of accomplishment everytime you finish a new book, or a thick stack of readings. and the costs of it all, is merely time. but to me, time is always well-spent if i use it to acquire knowledge that i can one day use at my disposal. and with the advent of the internet and the whole collection of books at libraries, the cost of reading has become negligible. so this sounds too good to be true, isn't it?
before i end, i thought i might as well look up the dictionary, and i was amused by what i read:
well, so now that you've heard the full story, please kindly revise your opinion of me, and i'll be happy to invite you to my book club anytime. (:
--
for the past few weeks (or has it been months already?), my name has become synonymous with words like "nerd" and "geek". so yesterday, i tried to challenge the title, and defend myself.
"i'm not a nerd, i just like to read", i explained.
and then N said, "i know, you like to read readings right?" a cunning use of alliteration to trap me into admitting it.
but then i replied, "no, i like to read novels too".
and E and N scrutinised me and concluded that i am still a geek.
but before i rest the case, i was wondering how and when did i develop a liking to read, and even more so for the past few months.
i ran a quick check in my mind, and i recalled picking up my brother's textbooks for leisure reading when i was in kindergarten (he's two years my senior). the pets coursebook and hao gong ming always fascinated me when i was young. so okay, that's evidence that the geekiness can be attributed to "nature".
then i fast-forwarded to the recent december holidays that had just passed, and i remembered having to choose between writing the literature review for my thesis, and reading freakonomics. i chose the latter of cos, simply because it was the lesser of the evil. so i was actually incentivised by my circumstances to read. and that's one tick for "nurture".
one against one, that's a draw. so i turned to a cost-benefit analysis on my favourite pasttimes.
i love watching youtube, because it provides pure entertainment that's accessible anytime, any day. but even though it has low explicit cost, the opportunity costs are still enormously high. the dramas on youtube take up an extravagant chunk of my time (especially when i'm hopelessly hooked to a show), and the biggest cost is the sanction that comes whenever a show got me glued to the small black screen. it's the sanction of guilt. guilt of procrastination. guilt of work forgone.
then there's shopping and dining. but shopping makes me broke, eating makes me fat. not much incentive i'd say.
so this is how i started liking to read more. the benefits of reading are expansive - it stimulates your brain, empowers you with knowledge, provides entertainment and even escapism, depending on the genre. this is not counting the sense of accomplishment everytime you finish a new book, or a thick stack of readings. and the costs of it all, is merely time. but to me, time is always well-spent if i use it to acquire knowledge that i can one day use at my disposal. and with the advent of the internet and the whole collection of books at libraries, the cost of reading has become negligible. so this sounds too good to be true, isn't it?
before i end, i thought i might as well look up the dictionary, and i was amused by what i read:
a nerd is defined as "1. a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person. 2. an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit"hey, surely i am neither obsessed with a nonsocial pursuit, nor inept (okay i admit that i am clumsy), nor accomplished in any scientific pursuit (though i am a social scientist..) and i'm definitely not a carnival performer! so there must have been some misunderstanding along the way!
while a geek is "1. a person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy. 2. a person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept. 3. a carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken".
well, so now that you've heard the full story, please kindly revise your opinion of me, and i'll be happy to invite you to my book club anytime. (:
19.1.09
oh take me back to the start
i don't know when i started becoming so obnoxious.
as dale carnegie has said - to have the best social life, you give people what they want, and you say what they want to hear. but i decided that i didn't want to be a slave to other people's opinions, so i traded good-naturedness, tolerance and diplomacy for honesty and straightforwardness, things that society don't value as much.
i got sick of being taken for granted, holding popular opinions and being part of an ordinary crowd. and because i hated mediocry, i wanted to stand out, but not stick out. i started to say what i think, not what people want to hear. but unfortunately, many people still prefer hearing half-truths - they have become the currency that people trade in. i started sharing my knowledge and being the antithesis of other people's opinions, in hope of spurring a more vibrant debate, but it was not in my intention to appear haughty.
but it seems that my plan to rediscover myself and take on a new identity has fallen flat. i thought i would be happier this way, but apparently not. because happiness does not only come from within, it comes from people around you too. so now i will shed my new cast, and revert back to the i-will-say-yes-to-everything-you-say girl.
as dale carnegie has said - to have the best social life, you give people what they want, and you say what they want to hear. but i decided that i didn't want to be a slave to other people's opinions, so i traded good-naturedness, tolerance and diplomacy for honesty and straightforwardness, things that society don't value as much.
i got sick of being taken for granted, holding popular opinions and being part of an ordinary crowd. and because i hated mediocry, i wanted to stand out, but not stick out. i started to say what i think, not what people want to hear. but unfortunately, many people still prefer hearing half-truths - they have become the currency that people trade in. i started sharing my knowledge and being the antithesis of other people's opinions, in hope of spurring a more vibrant debate, but it was not in my intention to appear haughty.
but it seems that my plan to rediscover myself and take on a new identity has fallen flat. i thought i would be happier this way, but apparently not. because happiness does not only come from within, it comes from people around you too. so now i will shed my new cast, and revert back to the i-will-say-yes-to-everything-you-say girl.
18.1.09
keep your focus in the middle
barely 30 minutes after its launch on facebook, this photo has topped my list of funniest photos taken in 2008.
thanks to sally, william, and of cos the two gorgeous models (whose identities shall be kept anonymous). (:
thanks to sally, william, and of cos the two gorgeous models (whose identities shall be kept anonymous). (:
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