how i evolved into a geek

disclaimer: the post below is the result of a self-centred, narcissistic introspection, and an attempt to procrastinate my work. read only if you're bored, read only if you have the slightest interest in my insipid life.

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for the past few weeks (or has it been months already?), my name has become synonymous with words like "nerd" and "geek". so yesterday, i tried to challenge the title, and defend myself.

"i'm not a nerd, i just like to read", i explained.

and then N said, "i know, you like to read readings right?" a cunning use of alliteration to trap me into admitting it.

but then i replied, "no, i like to read novels too".

and E and N scrutinised me and concluded that i am still a geek.

but before i rest the case, i was wondering how and when did i develop a liking to read, and even more so for the past few months.

i ran a quick check in my mind, and i recalled picking up my brother's textbooks for leisure reading when i was in kindergarten (he's two years my senior). the pets coursebook and hao gong ming always fascinated me when i was young. so okay, that's evidence that the geekiness can be attributed to "nature".

then i fast-forwarded to the recent december holidays that had just passed, and i remembered having to choose between writing the literature review for my thesis, and reading freakonomics. i chose the latter of cos, simply because it was the lesser of the evil. so i was actually incentivised by my circumstances to read. and that's one tick for "nurture".

one against one, that's a draw. so i turned to a cost-benefit analysis on my favourite pasttimes.

i love watching youtube, because it provides pure entertainment that's accessible anytime, any day. but even though it has low explicit cost, the opportunity costs are still enormously high. the dramas on youtube take up an extravagant chunk of my time (especially when i'm hopelessly hooked to a show), and the biggest cost is the sanction that comes whenever a show got me glued to the small black screen. it's the sanction of guilt. guilt of procrastination. guilt of work forgone.

then there's shopping and dining. but shopping makes me broke, eating makes me fat. not much incentive i'd say.

so this is how i started liking to read more. the benefits of reading are expansive - it stimulates your brain, empowers you with knowledge, provides entertainment and even escapism, depending on the genre. this is not counting the sense of accomplishment everytime you finish a new book, or a thick stack of readings. and the costs of it all, is merely time. but to me, time is always well-spent if i use it to acquire knowledge that i can one day use at my disposal. and with the advent of the internet and the whole collection of books at libraries, the cost of reading has become negligible. so this sounds too good to be true, isn't it?

before i end, i thought i might as well look up the dictionary, and i was amused by what i read:

a nerd is defined as "1. a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person. 2. an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit"
while a geek is "1. a person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy. 2. a person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept. 3. a carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken".

hey, surely i am neither obsessed with a nonsocial pursuit, nor inept (okay i admit that i am clumsy), nor accomplished in any scientific pursuit (though i am a social scientist..) and i'm definitely not a carnival performer! so there must have been some misunderstanding along the way!

well, so now that you've heard the full story, please kindly revise your opinion of me, and i'll be happy to invite you to my book club anytime. (: