my days are numbered.

i feel like a cancer-stricken patient who needs more time in hand, to accomplish what i have yet to, to fulfill what i have promised to, and to catch up with the times which i have lost.

im running out of time.

(this shall be my temporary shelter while my host is still down, for the fourth day i think.)

i am down in the dumps.

i have lost count of the number of times i have said that, so it doesnt matter if i were to add one more to the numbers today. nothing has been going my way. a couple of weeks ago, my old, but nonetheless beloved phone died on me. then the criticisms started coming in, followed the sense of alienation. i dont feel real. i dont know what i am doing, or why i am doing them. i dont even know what these faces, that i see everyday, mean to me. before i knew it, the disappointment of my inability to perform began to sink into my puny self.

and i shrank away.

(i dont know how long i will have to stay here. not long hopefully.)