whats the point of talking when there is no communication and understanding. whats the point of identifying a problem when there is no solution. and whats the point of sleeping when you still feel so damn tired the next day.

i just hate to admit it, and i wont.

thank you for all your lovely messages, calls, and well-wishes on the blog.

--

i wish they could just stop telling me what to do.

it makes me feel inadequate - which i am anyway.

i have always believed that we can accomplish anything as long as we keep giving our best and we keep telling ourselves that we can. however at this point of my life now, im beginning to realise my own limits and that it isnt always 'mind over body'. as much as i want to help out at times, there is only so little that i can offer the people around me. as much as i want to bury myself in work all the time, i realise that i cannot keep running away and i desperately need some time to myself. as much as i want to throw aside my books and concentrate on all my projects, i realise that i still have tests to sit for, tutorials to attend and term essays to submit.

i need so much more strength and energy that i just cannot gather from within myself alone.

they are like strings that jolt me back from time to time.

i just love being a workaholic.

why dont you tell me how it feels like not to be lost.

i have been sitting in a room for ages, but after some time, the air got stale and the room became stuffy.

so i opened the door for a breather, and i closed the door again.

please dont destroy my line of defence.

i hate to be functionally impaired, like i was this morning.

its so painful to think about it now.

even after four years.

i went, i left, i came, i apologised and i stayed. but somehow, along the course of my actions, i have ruined a play for some, and a party for others.

ive never intended for things to turned out this way, and ive never meant to hurt anyone in the process. i knew that it was a mistake, but i went ahead with it because i just didnt consider the implications of my actions on the people around me. and now what seemed like a trivial issue had developed into a big mess that is beyond my abilty to clean up.

ive spun a web, and its tangled up with me.

two wrongs make it all alright.

3.39am in the morning. i got off the phone, and did what i had to.

have you ever tried rolling a cordon tape before.

it can take you ten minutes to coil back the tape, but one second to drop it, and another three to watch the tape unwind on the ground.


--

i just couldnt tell where the water was coming from.

it was a beautiful letdown.

i started out with a half-empty white box. but as time passed, it grew fuller, heavier and darker by the day, and the lid began to tighten. back then, i was desperately trying to empty some of the items in the box, but the load inside just kept muliplying.

once when i tried to dispose part of it away, i regretted my foolish decision and placed everything back into the box again. another time, i was so careless in handling the box that i allowed some of the things inside to spill out from the lid, leaving a trail behind me as i unknowingly carried on. then some people followed the trail to find out the culprit who ruined the white floors, and before i knew it, i was made to clean up the mess.

the box has always been a liabilty rather than an asset to me. i had been wanting to get rid of the entire box, but the last time i gave it to a passerby (whom i thought was up to the herculean task), it ended up at my door weeks later - with twice the size, twice the weight and twice the blackness.

and so i gave up trying. i am just going to live with it,

my beloved big bulky black box.

you are sensitive and indecisive at times. you are good at making friends and when the joyful moment arrives, you make the most out of it. you will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. you love excitement and create it wherever you go. you are very tidy person. theres nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. your life is always full of changes.

when it comes to love, you shut yourself off. its difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. you have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

you are not a romantic person by nature. we also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. you dont think much about yourself.
--
i simple couldnt resist taking this test. im a closet art and crafts enthusiast. (: