one day after receiving disappointing results for my last semester, i did a hardware diagnostic test on my disk drive and found out that it failed every single test.

i dont think im being unreasonable to call it a really fuctup weekend.

sometimes it takes a very long meandering journey to reach our destination, but at least we get there in the end.

hope i will be that fortunate too.

every session with my head of department is like a brain-cell massacre,

and amplifies my inferiority complex. :/

if youre feeling happy, you cant be sad right?

i feel like im perpetuately at the sea bed, always struggling to swim to the top just to catch a glimpse of the sky and a kiss from the sun, and when i eventually tire out, i lose control of my limps and sink to the bottom again. its as though your life is moving in the right direction, but your tyres keep getting punctured and you end up wasting time and energy fixing this problem. and instead of the car driving you, you end up pushing the car sometimes. contentment and melancholy are irreconcilable, not when they apply to the same subject.

when we look up, we see blue all the time, dont we.

somebody slammed open the door and barged into my room today; then rocked the boat and threw me off before i could find my bearing. i was speechless and inferior, and i wanted to camouflage with the wallpaper behind.

in other words, it was a traumatising morning.

nobody like to be challenged, and nobody likes to move out of their comfort zones. if im not meeting your expectations, maybe your expectations are too high.

working in an environment like mine, makes people complain less and appreciate their lives more.

but it also makes your heart bleed a little everyday.

one week into my attachment, and im pretty sure that its going to be a life-changing experience.

so catch me in the making, or you might just never find me again.

my attachment hasnt even started, and im already feeling tired.

i wish i could run on automatic mode. four years is a long time. :/