arts club really made the world of a difference for my university life. (:


MAF at brewerkz.



thank you dinner 2007.


thank you dinner 2005 didnt seem too long ago:



and then 2006, when we were all lamenting about stepping down:



and finally, 2007, as a senior:


my beloved 26th through the years. (:



meeting you was the best thing that happened to me in nus. (:

i have too much to do, and too little persistence,
too little time, and too many distractions;

so much to say, yet too little words.

--

the night is still, but it cannot stop time from passing and dawn from breaking.

a clear azure sky that is sparsely scattered with dense ivory clouds - is one of my favourite sights.

even though its the same sky i have been looking at for all twenty one years, it is always so beautiful, tranquilising and flawless. it may not be omni-present, but i know that i just have to look up on sunny day to find it.

it is the last thing i hope to see; its color, too deep and familiar.

its hours of desensitisation, flooding and thought-stopping all day, everyday.

because too early in my life, it was too late.

the arrival of the much desired mid-semester break marks the beginning of a busy week, and the end of the summer holidays for some of my favourite people. come next summer, we would have aged by another year, possibly with new commitments and directions in life. and it makes me wonder how everyone will be like a year from now.

will we still be able to play silly games, do the traditional hc mass dances, or sing to the tunes of old spice girls songs that once defined the pop culture in our childhood? will we still be shouting 'ugly ugly ugly', smacking our palms on the table and competing over the possession of meaningless picture cards? will we still have the patience to watch our friend perform tricks with the cards, and be truly amused and awed by magic behind it? will we still have the time to sit in a circle, play the guitar and sing along with the warmth of our friendship as our invisible campfire? will we still be able to remember and reminisce the good times that we have spent in the parting years of our adolescence and the budding years of our adulthood?

im beginning to think that maybe, im expecting and demanding too much from life, and from the people around me. and because of that, i will always be trapped in my own insecurities, in my greed, and in my own mind.

守恆：“我们真的长大了。
人长大了，真的什么都变了。“

i thought about something that happened some years back, and i realised how ive made a mess of many things. and now, i cannot, and i must not put my thoughts to words.

life seems to be much simpler and quieter these days.

imagine youre sitting on a boat, sailing away with all your belongings onboard. and at some point in time, you begin to realise how some things have lost its importance or value, so you start dumping them into the sea. first of all, you throw away your television set since you cant watch without electricity. then the radio goes next because it has run out of batteries, followed by the box of cookies which it has expired and turned mouldy. subsequently you dispose off your old organiser, your running shoes, your can-opener, your train ticket, your comestics and the pillow you've had since you were a toddler because they have either outlived its use or shelf life.

so all you have left, are the items which are essential to ensure your survivability.

and you realise that the boat is now more spacious, lighter and swifter.

i havent done anything constructive for three consecutive days.

with an assignment due, a test next week and a tight schedule ahead, i just want to sleep through my sunday and pray that God will grant me a miracle.

insanity robs us of our mind but keeps our heart intact. i think sanity works the other way round.

every time i try to find some answers through a literature binge, the selection almost always throw me off the balancing beam and make me feel more warped than ever. sometimes, these thoughts would infiltrate into every corner of my mind, like how the moonlight would penetrate through every layer of the canopy to fall on the bed of the forest.

we just cannot recover from something we never had.

i am infuriated, fuming and frustrated after a futile find.

gravity, heavy rain and slippery soles are keeping me down. )):

there are no exits in this room.

there is a box of matches.
i have to keep
striking
the matches
to keep the flame
going.

im hungry,
but there is only water in this room, and no space for food.

the walls are cracking. i tried to stop it by pouring water in between the cracks, but they only got bigger and w i d e r, and soon the cracks opened to form meanders, and the water began to breed and multiply.

there is a cupboard in the room. i opened the drawer and i saw bags and bags of pills spilling out. they do not carry my name, but they carry my guilt and somebody else's shame. some of them are mouldy because they have been around longer than i am. perhaps i am a pill too, small and insignificant.

the water is filling up the room, and threatening to extinguish my matches.

i hear a voice from outside, asking me to grow roots to the floor and soak up the water.

there was something which ive always remembered, and kept to myself about.

--
this is one of those nights which i feel like deleting this whole blog just to get back at myself.

oh you light up my life!





the past few weekends have made me realised how some things never change, and how some old friends will always, always be the best. thanks for the colours and melodies, past and present. (: